Chapter 11 was about the de-escalating of a relationship. Just as there are stages in escalating a relationship, there are 5 stages in de-escalating it.
1.) Differentiating - the separation of the "we" bond to become an "I" bond. We no longer see us as apart of the other person--that we have our own independence.
2.) Circumscribing - this is the change in communication. Disclosure begins to become minimal, and conversations become shallow and superficial.
3.) Stagnating - the emotional difference between the two and they are just going through the motions of being a couple.
4.) Avoiding - Contact becomes non-existant.
5.) Terminating - relationship is over.
These 5 stages are important in a breakup as it helps the emotional progression and it doesn't leave someone in such a distraught thinking this suddenly happened and they find themself unable to move on. Granted in many situations, the other person doesn't realize these phases are taking place, but we need to realize what signs to look for when a break up is about to transpire.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I really enjoyed how you connected back to the stages in an escalating relationship. I also agree with you when you said that these 5 stages of de-escalating are important because it helps "emotional progression". People will still be left feeling hurt and unwanted, but at least with these stages they could look back and say "I could/should have seen that coming". Like you said, in the moment one or both partners may or may not realize it, and that makes it hard. Communication really is important and can ultimately alter how things turn out in the end.
It is really interesting to actually see the steps of the break up. Usually when someone goes through a break up they really don't think about in steps so it's cool to see how it plays out. I do beleive break ups follow this patteren also, usually couples stop communicating and the rest follows.
Hello, I like your title "Stages of Coming Apart" because I envision a clock that used to tick-tock is slowly falling apart. First the clock may give the incorrect time, then get stuck, then one day freezes and does not want to function anymore. The five stages of de-escalating you listed nicely presents the separation of we, less disclosure, going through the motion, avoiding, and it's over. I hope that some couples realize that their love clock may still tick...if they want it to tick...if it can tick. The chapter did not talk much about marriage counseling and how these comm. studies interpersonal knowledge can apply to resolving relationship issues. Of course, this is not a counseling class.
Post a Comment