Web Lecture - Construals

In the web lecture there was discussion about construals. There are two kinds:
Independent construal of self - "means that the person views her or himself as separate or unique from others. "
Interdependent construal of self - "means that the person seeks to bond or fit in with others. "
I fit in the independent construal of self category. I believe myself to be different from others. Yea, I admit I have my moments where I like to be like everyone else, but I'm not, so why bother trying to be something I am not. I guess, since I do have the tendency to be both independent and interdependent, that makes it a ambivalent--where can be both, but not a high "dose" of both.

Chapter 15 - Socioemotional selectivity theory

Chapter 15 discusses common family and life-span issues. One important concept is the socioemotional selectivity theory. This theory states that as a person gets older their network of friends become smaller and more associated with people who are emotionally important to them. I believe this is a very true concept. As youth, we want to be popular and have all these friends to hang out with, party etc. As we get older though, the group of friends tends to become smaller and smaller, either because we mature and they don't and we identify it as a problem, or we simply just outgrow people and over time we just stop communicating and hanging out. By the time we reach our elderly age, we have just a select handful of friend of whom we care alot for. By this time we have weeded out people who just were not of similar interest or just not emotionally attached. It is important to have people who care for because time is limited and in the final years, there isn't enough time to deal with the drama of having a large group of friends to deal with.

Chapter 12 - Socially appropriate behaviors

Chapter 12 is about seeking compliance in an interpersonal relationship. One topic discussed is socially appropriate behaviors. Social appropriate behavior are mannerly, courteous and respectful behaviors such as being polite. I believe we all have a certain behavior pattern that is masked when we are in the privacy of our own home. When in public, we behave in a manner that is polite and respectful of others in order to be liked. When we are in our homes, we may still be polite around people in the home, but there is still a difference in the mannerisms. We are multifaced where we have different mannerisms for different circumstances, at least my opinion. I know I sure am this way........unless im an odd ball :)

Chapter 13 - Conflict Styles

Chapter 13 discusses the ways to deal with conflict. There are five conflicting styles.
1.) Competing - both compete to prove right
2.) Accomodating - cooperatative and unassertive
3.) Collaborating - concern for both parties and be assertive and cooperative
4.) Avoiding/Withdrawing--Withdraw from argument
5.) Compromising - assertive and cooperation
I have a competing personality when it comes to an argument. I am always trying to prove my way is the right way. I have a friend who I argue with alot and we both have a competing personality in the attempt to prove we are right and the other side is wrong. Essentially we both get upset and go to bed mad and maybe the next day well talk. I sometimes wish I had another conflict style, because having the personality I have, I butt heads with people often and creates alot of drama.